…its wasn’t just heartbreak…

I’ve had my heart broken, I’ve laid in bed for a few days and cried and I’ve had days where is just couldn’t understand why. But it wasn’t heartbreak with you.

I couldn’t just get up and move on, I couldn’t just walk away and I couldn’t just say goodbye. I tried, my god I tried so hard to but it was something more… you were something more, you are something more to me.

Even though days are better and nights are shorter the memory stays like a scar. You get a cut on your leg, at first it hurts really bad and you panic a little but eventually it starts to heal and turns into a scar. It doesn’t hurt anymore but if someone ask you where you got it from you remember how and the pain you were in. You’re the deepest cut and the biggest scar.

Life is better but things still target those thoughts, those days. One second I can be smiling but if I get in my head I’ll start to remember. I’ll remember all those soundless screams, tearless cries, airless breaths and that feeling that your heart is one beat from exploding. You may say it’s to much but I wish I was exaggerating, I wish.

I know we’re better, I know those days are behind us but just because a scar heals doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. Maybe not physically but mentally. You could’ve been a heartbreak but it wasn’t just a heartbreak with you. You were a heartbreak, a loss of breath and a soul shatter.

Yet you were the one to pick up the pieces and put them back together, you were the one to agree with what needed to happen and you did that and I still don’t understand what happen. You were the person who broke me but you’re the person who put together a stronger me.

Most people in my position would hate you, would never speak to you again and would just forget you completely but I took a different turn. I became more in love with you and I don’t regret it. I don’t regret that we’ve become who we are today and have a future planned.

I won’t ever regret you because all those nights I could’ve given up I didn’t because no matter what pain I was going through something told me it wouldn’t just be heartbreak with you.

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